*Fart noise*

5 days left with these very interesting people onboard.
I’m so excited to leave but so thankful for the cast I got to experience. You were the strangest, funniest and most interesting group of people I’ve worked with in a while. Also known as the United Nations we have been together since September. I shared my birthday, Christmas and New Years with them all just to name a few plus, our own versions of international holidays heavily revolving around drinking. It’s been such a great few months and provided me with what I needed at this time last year
An escape
It’s been good you pack of fools.

Give me your wallet.

Into the wind

This last week is going to be epic.
Lots of beers and lots of memories to be made.
I’m throwing my hands up and just enjoying what little time we all have together. Life is too short to be worried about drama.

Why are you calling?

This week we ventured to Blue Hole in Jamaica. We scored a very good deal outside the port with a small group of us and ventured off in our little bus with our slab of beer to this unbelievable paradise.
The pictures don’t even do justice to how surreal the location was. Freshwater natural pools with running waterfalls you could walk down and jump off, caves we swam through or climbed into through small crevases and also ropes to swing off into the water. The water itself was so crisp and clear and came almost as a surprise to us with usually expecting salt water. The company was fantastic and we spent the whole day with beaming smiles on.

This week went so quickly and as I always say draws me closer to the end which I’m looking forward to so much. Last night however I received an unwelcome call around 3:30am which I was not expecting at all. As I had been drinking and was asleep I hung up the phone before I said something rude or insulting which would be the most likely thing to happen at that hour in the morning. I have a lot on my mind now and I just hope the phone doesn’t ring again.

Bitches of Eastwick

Another week another cruise down and another cruise closer to returning to L-town. Sometimes working onboard a vessel doing 7 day runs can feel like groundhog day and this week felt a little bit like that. I was lucky enough to meet some lovely new cast members this week and although this resulted in some extra rehearsals rendering me unable to get off the ship I was thankful we were blessed with such gentle people.

By the time Mexico rolled around we were all in need of some time off and some alcohol so we rented bikes and rode up and down the Cozumel coast line dodging taxis and tourists. It was a carefree day ending in quite a bit of beer and a late afternoon nap. It’s great being around people that make you laugh so much and that are equally as awkward as yourself. Sorry girls. The end of the contract is ending and like any contracted job you may never see these people again. We are all making plans and figuring out what we are doing with our lives and its scary but also so exciting.

Sunday morning puppies.

“Somedays I feel like shit, somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit”

Today is rainy and drab it’s the kind of day I wouldn’t mind a warm coffee in bed whilst staring through a skylight at the rain but instead I’m at a supermarket Starbucks drinking an iced coffee (?) dealing with my bank in the UK over the phone. The only good thing about Sunday is connecting with everyone that I find it hard to connect with during the week due to ship internet or ports of call. I shouldn’t complain my week is filled with some of the most beautiful places I’ve been to and I get to experience them multiple times. But what I wouldn’t give for a sleep-in in a regular bed where I didn’t have to worry about hitting my head on the bunk above or waking my roommate (I love you Pedro). But soon enough I’ll have my small luxuries back. This week has been trying and pretty emotionally draining my good friends beer and wine have been by my side extensively but other than them my other real friends have been legends and I’ve stayed preoccupied. I’m not a weak character I’m not a victim I will take everything in my stride and it will make me stronger. I am Isaac Liam London Texas Houston.

A Broken Australian Heart

You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.

I started this week happy in love and in high spirits as I felt I was in a good place. I finish this week devasted, confused feeling the lowest I’ve felt in a long time but still in love. At around 10pm most nights I receive a phone call where I make silly noises, laugh and utter the three words that take so much confidence to say. Three words I don’t use lightly, three words that mean more to me than any other three words I know. But a few nights ago the phone didn’t ring…. I didn’t think much of it and I knew tomorrow I’d get another call. I did get another call a call I shouldn’t have answered. The three words weren’t there anymore they had been replaced with words full of regret. Over the course of 24 hours the man who told me he loved me, told me that one day he wanted to move in with me, told me that the best part of his day was speaking to me changed his mind so drastically and told me he didn’t love me anymore. I’m not new to dating I’ve had a fair few relationships and I’m guarded I keep my walls up, I don’t get serious and I don’t get public. But this was different the outpour of love I was receiving everyday was outrageous not to mention the flights across continents to see me. So I thought this was the real deal. I did everything I don’t do I made it public, I told my family, I started planning a life with someone because I believed that this man who said on multiple occasions he was madly in love with me meant the words he was writing to me everyday. But no, I was clearly mistaken. I have never let someone in so close and then had  them have such a sudden change of heart. I’ve had relationship breakdowns I’ve had messy breakups but this is probably the hardest I’ve fallen for someone and the most hurt I have ever been. Everything I did in this relationship was a reaction to what I was receiving daily. I put all my eggs in one basket and that basket was dropped off the side of a cliff. My heart hurts and unlike him I can’t stop loving him. I check my messages to see if theres anything there but theres nothing. Pictures of me were removed online, status changes on his Facebook and not even a word to me about it. I gave my heart,soul, body, time and energy to someone because I believed they loved me. I believed this feeling I was experiencing was reciprocated. The evidence was all there and anyone who knew us, knew how well I was treated and how much this man “loved” me. I’ve been made a complete fool of and I don’t know if I’m going to be ok. I’m writing this because I need to, I can’t talk about it I would rather the people around me just know and me not have to say his name or go over the phone call and then wind up a crying spluttering mess that I’ve been for the past few days. This isn’t some vengeful post it’s not something getting back at anyone its my way of reaching out. I will not be able to forgive this man but I don’t know when or even if I can stop loving him.

Hidden letters and needles.

Another Friday in Mexico saw me with some liquid courage.
I started my day at my regular hangout where I left a secret letter that hopefully will stay intact until my man (who shares a few of my ports of call on different days) finds it. Afterwards I bought a six pack and wandered downtown along the water. It was such a relaxing walk and nice to have some time to myself. After two beers I decided to enquire about a septum piercing. Lets be serious I had started drinking next thing you know I’m sitting with a needle in my face and a group of Mexican tattoo and piercing artists staring at the job they had done. I can happily say I love the new addition.

Hitting March has me very excited and the weeks are just soaring by and soon enough I’ll be back on land and back in London. My last month in London was very tumultuous and saw me in a bit of a rough spot personally which then effected me financially. I’m now going back stronger, fiercer and ready to take the city by the horns.

Alone

I restore myself when I’m alone.

Marilyn Monroe

 

“There is something beautiful about saying goodbye to someone you’ll see again soon.”

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a post as I’ve been quite preoccupied the past two weeks. Firstly I was surprised by my now handsome boyfriend from Canada as he was coming to visit me with a cruise and also with the ship going back into service it’s just been go go go.

After my first short cruise D joined me on the 9th and we had the most amazing week together. He got to watch me perform and we got to spend some much needed time together before our long break apart. Our story is quite a hectic one with a two year break and then after seeing each other again a sudden realisation of how precious time is and that we need to take this chance if we are ever going to take it. So in saying that we decided to make plans together and promises in what we would like our future to entail. It’s been a long time coming and I’m glad we finally are working on something together.

This week was extra special as we got to spend Valentines day together which we did on the beach in Mexico. With a week of dinners out, shows, too much to drink and nice sleep-ins (which were much deserved) I’m coming away from this week happier more than anything. Progress and time is what we needed and this week allowed that. It’s just another chapter in our crazy story. Miami, Jamaica, Mexico, Canada and next stop London.

Je t’aime

I love being in love – Brittany Murphy